So you brewed this awesome, amazing beer and you want everyone to try it. You just need a way to get people's attention. Perhaps a unique and memorable name for your beer? Or maybe some really great artwork for your label?
This is where the fork in the road between a good idea and a bad idea should become very, VERY defined.
For example, these are really clever. Some are flat out hilarious.
Good job New England Brewing Co, bravo!
Gotta laugh at this one, Battle Creek is Cereal City!
Yeah, this one has a "bad word." You should be 21 anyway, you've seen worse.
Just... I can't.
With so many craft breweries competing for unique and memorable names and artwork, I understand the urge to get, well... vulgar. There are names I won't mention here because they may be mildly offensive to people who may have sensitive ears.
But I have a very thick, decisive line drawn in the sand about what I deem truly offensive. The fork in the road divides when a beer stops being funny, or even childishly crass, and starts to directly target a group of people. Laughing at the expense of minorities in particular is just not funny or original, it's over that very thick and obvious sand line. You have taken the wrong side of the fork in the road! This time, it's the road less traveled because it's flat out not ok.
Here's a list of some of my top offenders, and feel free to dispute these. But these beer names and labels leave a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn't get out, even if the beer did taste good.
1. Mouth Raper IPA, Hop Valley
News of this beer name has recently started circulating the internet as it is more affectionately known as MR IPA.... I wonder why. For pretty much all of these I shouldn't have to explain my reasoning on, as reading the names out loud to a test group received a chorus of audible groans and sighs without any sort of suplimental description. But after doing some internet searching, it turns out this is the one that most people try to dispute as being non-offensive. There are plenty of arguments floating around that state that IPAs have historically violent names... if this was called Mouth Killer, would we still be up in arms about it? NO. That argument is stupid. Who are you offending with "Mouth Killer," dead people? Actual killers? People who have had family members die from mouth related injuries? If anything, it might make you afraid to drink the beer. But Mouth Raper obviously targets a very tangible, living group of people who have survived a very traumatic event. 1 in 5 women have been sexually assulted in the US alone, and that number gets more staggering when you see how many out of those women were under the age of 18. That number only quatifies the women, and only ones that have come forward. This beer shows an obscene insensitivity towards anyone who has suffered through this traumatic event. I mean, this one is so obviously wrong, it's appalling to me that it's still on the market. Someone get this beer off the shelves immediately.
2. Le Corsaire Brewery as a whole
This Quebec brewery has garnered a lot of media attention because it really is that awful. With names like “The Hooker” and “La Tite Pute” (Little Slut), you can probably guess which group is being attacked here. Once again, another brewery has found a way to marginalize women as a whole. It's disappointing and it's disgusting. You've also got the label (shown above), for La Perruche (the parrot), which could be harmless, except they've given a nude woman parrot wings and stuck her in a cage. Good job, Le Corsaire. Everyone is mad. Next.
3. Oh Me So Hoppy to Wheat You, Oddside Ales
And good ol' Michigan makes the list with this racially insensitve mess. It's a shame because people that I've talked to claim the beer is pretty solid, but again with what I said about the bad taste in my mouth. I wouldn't even be able to taste it after looking at this label. Derisious? Lingers long time? Are we seriously doing this? My friend Franklin said it best when he told me that "If an Asian-American came into the store and asked for a recommendation on a really hoppy wheat beer, I would not feel comfortable recommending this." I couldn't agree more. It's embarrassing we haven't moved past these types of jokes.
4. Polygamy Porter, Wasatch Beers
Some Mormons are upset because the beer is making fun of their polygamous past, others are offended by the nudity. Either way, no one wins when this beer is actually brewed in Utah, where there's bound to be offended individuals walking by this beer daily in their local beer market. Not to mention, their tagline? Why have just one! Come one, now we're back to offending women. No one wins with this beer. Except maybe the guy on the label, he looks pretty thrilled.
5. Malus Pater and Tia Loca, Beer Here
Speaking of religiously offensive labels, this certainly takes the cake for most offended Catholics per pint. "Oh, haha let's poke fun at Catholic priests molesting young boys, no one's ever done that before!"
But they didn't stop there! Oh no, things can only get worse for Beer Here, who decided that their next label should obviously feature none other than cartoon Hitler himself, depicted as Tin Tin. Poor Snowy's been replaced by a snarling German Shepherd and it's raining German sterotypes who are raising a glass as he raises a salut. This should have never happened. It's offensive to basically everyone, and it needs to go.
This list, unfortunately, could go on forever. I understand the struggle to be creative, witty, memorable, and avoid a lawsuit (legal battles happen every day between breweries that accidentally use the same beer name or have similar labels). This isn't an excuse to get offensive. There is no reason to target a specific group of people for your own amusement or for attention from the press.
And to all the brewers out there, if you think even for a second that your beer name or label might offend a group of people, it probably will. I'm begging you, if your beer name or label has offended people, especially if they have contacted you about it, please change it. I, like many others, want to drink your beer. I do! But with a name like that, I just can't.
